I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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