i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
