i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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