Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
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I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
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She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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