At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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