I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
