happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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