i permit you to call me
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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