My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize