4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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