after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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