Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
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Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
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somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize