woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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