Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
