Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
