Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
