Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
