Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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