what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize