I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
