video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
