You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
