I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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