well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
