If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Did you just see the Batmobile???
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He felt like a one man threesome
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
