You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
