the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
