We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
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