she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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