No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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