im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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