i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
