What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
