I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I AM VODKA MAN
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
