he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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