You really coming over, don't trick.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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