How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
