is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
