wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
