Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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