Just cropdusted the office
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize