Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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