In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
