Pants 0. Shit 1.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
