Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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