you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
