I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
