Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Holy sore nipples Batman
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
