He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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