...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize