Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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