My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
