Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
