You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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