Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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