No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
