so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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