I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I have tasted many bathrooms
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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