whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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