Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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