you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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