Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
